Inspire Magazine: relationship @ Inspire

One Night Stand? by Praise Fowowe
Date Added: 2008-04-14

My first encounter with Tokunbo was a little bit casual because I just finished a speaking session when she slipped her business card into my breast pocket on my way out of the conference hall. I was a little bit alarmed at how she was able to outsmart the protocol but I later found out that it was her way with every guest speaker at the annual singles summit.

I forgot about her completely and went back to my hotel room to catch my needed rest but that was not to be as I got a strange call and guess whose call it was Tokunbo of course. I didn’t even bother to find out how she got my number but I got the message which was very simple enough despite my tiredness “I need to see you urgently, I don’t mind coming to lodge in your hotel tonight”

Before I could say a word she hung up. I paced across my hotel room and started wondering what I was going to do. My PA was nowhere around me this time around because my host couldn’t afford to foot the bills of an additional person and my fiancée was far away in Lagos.

My body rejoiced and urged me to go for this once-in-a-life time opportunity that may never come again. I wanted to shout or send for my host but I didn’t know what came over me. I had taught relationship skills for 3years, consulted for clients on extra-marital affairs for 2years and here was I battling with what I’d rescued others from.

I was lost in thoughts for over two hours wondering what to do when my intercom rang. I didn’t want to pick it at first but I did. It was Tokunbo telling me she was in room 204 which was the room directly opposite my room. I suspected a setup and told myself I would never be caught in this kind of web not after the Monica Lewisky saga.

I was able to put myself together and ask her what exactly she wanted from me. Her response was something else “Praise, I must say that I have followed your column for months and I have always longed for this opportunity to be with you and tell you about myself. I must let you know that you hit me really hard during your session today that

I was wondering if you would be willing to just come into my room and give me a warm goodnight hug tonight and I would just be happy…..honey I just want your hug……please I am dying to just have you hold me…”

I have had relationships and have had passes been made at me but this was way beyond me. All I remembered telling her was that it was against what I believed was the right thing to do only for her to repeat that same line I have heard all my life “It doesn’t matter, all I want is you and no one will ever hear about this” I felt like calling my fiancée as I have always done when I have situations like this but lo and behold I had no credit on my phone to call, not even to send a text message. I felt the best thing for me to do was to just lock my door and go to bed trusting God to wake up the following morning.

I told myself ‘Praise, this is not the kind of relationship you would want to get into so lock your door, jump on the bed, engage the receiver and close your eyes and sleep”. I quickly slipped out of my trousers as those words echoed back “All I want is you” As I jumped on the bed it occurred to me that I’d not remembered to lock the door the next scene was something I wouldn’t love to remember.

As I made to lock the door I saw the handle turn and there she was dressed in a very transparent night dress. At last I was in for what I’d not bargained for. My spirit went dead but my body rejoiced. The look on her face said it all and the words that came out of her mouth would make the greatest monk melt: “All I want is you man, I know what you stand for and I swear that this would be well kept. I know you want me and I want you as well, I have always longed to be married to a guy like you………you are smooth, handsome and you are every lady’s dream”

I stood like a sheep ready for the slaughter slab as I saw her gown fall off, revealing her nude body. She took two steps towards me as I managed to mumble maaaam plllssssss iii doooonnnnnnnntttttttttt wwwwwwwaaaaaannnnnnnnttttttttt. As she made to hold me I shivered as I felt her cold body but I heard my spirit come alive saying to me “Boy you can’t do this” it was silently said but I heard it, yet a part of me rationalized it saying to me “what is the big deal about it others do it, boy enjoy yourself.

As she held me, she showed me a pack of condom and said to me “Prove yourself boy, I am here for you” I felt I’d become another person entirely, no longer that powerful conference speaker but that jellylike boy in the hand of someone who was meant to be a part of my audience the following day. No longer that popular and great role model but now a guy that would be forced to lead a double life after all she said it “Everybody does it” I was going to hold her but I couldn’t. This time we were very close to the edge of my bed as she pulled me closer to her, looked straight into my eyes as she reached for my lips.

I felt the tenderness of her kiss and made to touch her………………………………I am sure you were almost going to use your mind to fill in the gap about what happened afterwards. If I’d told you I didn’t do it you would never believe me but you know what the next thing that happened was the greatest victory I’d won in my life. The door didn’t open, she didn’t leave me, I didn’t have her and she never had me, then what would have happened?………………I woke up, it was a dream.

Welcome to timeout with the relationship coach.
Relationship is one part of our life that we can’t deny. We are relational beings and there is nothing you can do about it. The only power you have is to choose the relationship you want. I have seen solid relationship make people while others have been marred by relationships.

In my days at the university I saw how ladies were destroyed in the name of relationships and how some guys lost their brilliance to sex. Yet I saw some other relationships that ended in marriage. How can you maintain effective relationship as a business person and how can you balance your work and family life. What about sex and sexual relationships? What about affairs and moment of madness?

What is the color of love and how do you know when you are really in love?